Seeking Benedictions

Why do you matter to me so much?
Can I go ahead sans thoughts of you as such?

There are so many distractions that can keep me busy
Things about  which I’m not entitled to keep you in privy…

I can fill my mind with thoughts of some other
And when it comes to you I can just not bother…

I can cross oceans and visit fancy lands,
And return enriched and entitled with magical wands…

But what use are those if they can’t vanish thoughts of you
When whatever I see in front, it’s only you, who I view…

There are moments I seek answers of questions I am not sure of
There are days when I feel I have been totally robbed…

Robbed of being myself
Entitled to thoughts of thyself 
I try hard to bring in some sense to myself 
I put in my best to put out thoughts of thyself…

I try hard, yet miserably fail
And out flows my efforts down a broken pail.

And why not?

After all it’s you who is all over my mind
The solace you give me sometimes is hard to find…

Your touch enthralls me
Your feel gives me paradise’s key 
Your warmth drives me crazy
When you’re near me, I go in a state of tizzy…

You hurt me the most 
Yet moments with you are also the happiest 

And perhaps this contradiction
Gives me the impetus to seek life’s infinite benedictions…

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